Matt Brundage

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Many of my pet peeves are already unlawful

Many federal, state, and local laws exist only because of the citizenry's tendency toward inconsiderate and entitled behavior in public. While I've split this peeve list into three categories (litter, auto, and pets), it's not about those things, per se, but about the quality of routine public interactions.

Litter

I am so diametrically opposed to littering that I cannot even begin to comprehend the mindset of one who litters.

To supplement my running, I used to go for walks in the afternoon. At first, the walks were just walks, and nothing more. Then I started to notice litter everywhere I went. So I started picking up a couple bottles or cans on my way home. That wasn't cutting it, so I started to bring a single-use plastic grocery bag and fill it. Then I bought a bunch of white cotton gloves to protect my hands. Then I upgraded my plastic grocery bag to something larger and sturdier. Even with this setup, I'd find that, occasionally, I'd still fill my bag to the brim and have to walk past more litter. So I started wearing a backpack, which could comfortably hold a single full litter bag and keep my hands free for other litter bags. I learned about the location of all the public trash cans so that I could offload at least some of my trash while I was out. I then discovered a public recycle bin at a local elementary school, and this has been a game-changer: I can now offload all of my trash while out, and continue picking up trash without stopping at home. This is my current setup, but I'm open to evolving it if I see a need, or an opportunity.

Most of my haul tends toward food trash: bottles, cans, plastic cups, paperboard, wrappers, etc. The majority of the rest tends toward what I would call "road debris" and could include pretty much anything. If you can imagine it, I've seen it — aside from human remains. I haven't encountered that yet.

There are levels to littering: If you've thrown an apple core into a thicket or wooded area, I can acknowledge your rationalization. (And I don't bother with such quickly biodegradable material.) The next level would be empty bottles and cans. An eyesore, but routine and easy to pick up. Next up are vessels still containing liquids/solids. I've put that delicately. Worse still is premeditated dumping: bags full of random detritus, half-eaten fast food meals, and used diapers. The absolute worst are dog walkers who take the time to carefully bag their dog's excrement, but leave the bags right there by the sidewalk for someone else to deal with. This is actually a thing and it's prevalent.

There's no such thing as the poop fairy

What really gets my goat, though, are people who litter in otherwise pristine and scenic areas. Let me set the scene: you're a person who enjoys the great outdoors: fishing by a lake or river, mountain biking or hiking on a forested natural-surface trail. Like many people, you're drawn to the peace and untouched beauty of nature. However, you are also very thirsty and your predisposition to littering in situ trumps your desire to — at the very least — preserve the pristine, natural environment that you're ostensibly enjoying. Huh? Imagine the preposterous Venn diagram of people who meet this criteria. And yet, I've routinely spent afternoons pulling bag after bag of trash from the banks of beautiful lakes and from trailheads.

The elephant in the room here is alcohol-related litter. The presence of alcoholic beverage litter implies the public consumption thereof. Again, whether or not laws restricting the public consumption of alcohol are reasonable is out of scope for this blog post. Personally, I am ambivalent on the matter. But I'd estimate that close to half of beverage litter (bottles, cans, etc) is alcoholic. This is true even of road debris: trash likely tossed out of vehicles and not by pedestrians. Perhaps those who routinely drink and drive are more likely to litter — in order to get rid of the evidence?

Lawn signs in the public right-of-way

This is a relatively recent pet peeve for me. My only explanation is that people are just unaware that you can't use the public right of way (the clear zone) to erect lawn signs to advertise your business. The worst offenders are freelance manual laborers: roofers, junk removers, plumbers, electricians, mechanics, and landscapers. Most signs from real estate agents and home builders are also unlawful. While unwieldy and difficult to dispose of, I've started to pull lawn signs.

Auto

Abuse of handicapped placards/plates

I have no direct evidence of specific instances of abuse. Further, I realize that some disabilities are not outwardly apparent. However, almost without fail, when I observe people using designated, accessible parking spaces, they appear to be just as able-bodied as you or me. No wheelchair, walker, crutches, awkward gait, etc. Perhaps I betray my ignorance on the matter, but when I see a car parking in an accessible spot, I expect at least one of the occupants to be genuinely physically disabled and to materially benefit from the convenient proximity of the designated parking space.

Idling for extended periods

As the owner of an EV, I am much more attuned to idling violations. I notice idling everywhere now: in shopping center parking lots, near parks and playgrounds, on streets as I walk by. Aside from the pollution and deleterious health effects, exhaust just straight up smells horrible. Idling near people and pedestrians is an anti-social activity, full stop. (No pun intended.)

Many are still under the assumption that one must idle their car in cold weather, prior to driving. Not so; when you're ready, you can just start moving. Your engine may not be optimally efficient for a few minutes as it warms up, but then again, while you're idling, you're guaranteed to get zero MPG. How's that for efficiency?

Ignoring stop signs

Whether or not a stop sign at any given intersection is the best way to calm traffic is beyond the scope of this discussion. But if there's a stop sign, assume that everyone else — especially pedestrians — are going to behave as if other people will be obeying said stop sign. I've seen people take "rolling stops" to a whole new level: instead of speeding, they'll temporarily go the speed limit — through a stop sign.

Exceeding sound limits

As the owner of an EV (see a trend?), I am much more attuned to sound violations — I can't prove it, but my environment seems to have gotten louder since acquiring an EV in 2019.

80 decibels max is Maryland law. The typical motorcycle (with stock exhaust) lands at about 80 decibels while idling. Modified bikes can easily be four times as loud. Whenever I hear one, I think, that's gotta be illegal, and I was right. Electric motorcycles can't come fast enough.

I pick on motorcycles, but modified cars can be just as loud. Some drivers seem like they're getting paid for each exhaust growl, pop, or bang that their cars emit. On many occasions, it sounds as if my neighborhood is taking incoming mortar fire from the IDF.

Speeding (corollary: going far below the speed limit)

Read the room, as it were. Your main job as a driver is to keep from getting noticed — either by risky maneuvers or by traveling outside of the generally-accepted speed range. What is this range? My hunch says the posted speed limit plus/minus 10. Again, whether or not a particular road's speed limit is reasonable is out of scope here. But if you're exceeding the speed limit to the point of tailgating or driving slow enough to predispose others to tailgate you (reverse tailgating), then you need to be corrected.

Parking in close proximity to mailboxes — especially mine

Yes, blocking a mailbox is actually a violation of 18 U.S. Code § 1701. Not to mention, it's monumentally annoying when neighbors — mostly, people I've never met — do this.

Pets

Unleashed dogs (or "At large", to use county parlance)

Generally, if you encounter an unleashed dog, the owner is breaking the law. At least where I'm from. While some people welcome attention and contact from random pets, I personally don't. Random dogs are less predictable than little children (and are much more likely to bite if startled.) This comes to the fore when I'm trail running and encounter dog owners who intentionally unleash their pets in the woods. I don't want a collision and I certainly don't want holes in my calf muscles.

Honorable mentions: not unlawful, but frowned upon

Parking

Aside from the mailbox issue, I will concede that the street in front of my house can be used for public parking and is first-come first-served. However, I still consider it to be my own residence's temporary "visitor's parking." But it's rarely used by legitimate visitors. Rather, neighbors — mostly, people I've never met — use it for their own long-term overflow parking. Sometimes for days or even weeks at a time.

Loud/unruly dogs

Opting out

Having to continually unsubscribe from all manner of marketing calls, texts, emails, and paper mail from seemingly every company or organization that I interact with. Never in my life have I ever explicitly signed up for any of it!

Loud phone calls, especially on speaker

Imagine the quick buzz of a mosquito in your ear. Now, amplify that one-hundred fold. That's what your speakerphone sounds like to me. It's a violation of the social order to the highest extent.

Related

Pet peeves from days of yore

Little-known facts

Since moving to Silver Spring in 2005, I've walked approximately 1,568 miles to and from the Forest Glen Metro Station. That's about 490 hours of walking.

conformation Despite my ardent Catholic faith, I have never been confirmed. This is even more astounding when you consider that the sacrament of confirmation is a prerequisite to the sacrament of marriage.

I've been using Quicken on a daily basis since October 1, 1993. I just recently persuaded Annie to join me and now she is all excited.

I've made 12,033 edits (and counting) to the English version of Wikipedia. An average of more than one edit per day since birth.

Circa 2001 or 2002, I was scrounging around in the music section of a used book store — trying to find an LP or 45 with the song "Go Away Little Girl" by Steve Lawrence. Randomly, I struck up a conversation with the man standing next to me; I got to telling him what I was trying to find. Turns out the man was Steve Lawrence's cousin or something. The Odds! I was too astonished to react appropriately, so I muttered something cursory like, "oh, wow, that's cool." The mind boggles when I try to calculate the odds of something like that ever happening. To anyone. Ever again.

Brain Dump, post-Memorial Day Edition

www.toothpastefordinner.com I wonder what effect — if any — Billy Graham's Crusades and ministry had on the Catholic Church's Second Vatican Council. Ecumenicism is a major part of Vatican II and was one of Graham's hallmarks.

Mixing equal parts Mike's Hard Lemonade™ and regular lemonade should yield Mike's Somewhat Firm Yet Pliable Lemonade™. Likewise, equal parts Mike's Hard™ and, say, grain alcohol, should yield Mike's Extremely Difficult™.

Simon and Garfunkel's "Cloudy" may not be Paul Simon's best song, but the arrangement is top-notch. If there is ever a Baroque-pop revival, "Cloudy" should serve as the blueprint.

Jens Meiert is delving deeper into the increasing pedantry that is long-term HTML/CSS maintenance.

Politician A from Political Party X just did [something]! If instead, Politician B from Political Party Y had just done [something], then media and public reaction would be totally different. Double standard! (wash, rinse, and repeat)

(\s\?[^>]|[^< ]\?\w|\?\s(?-i:[a-z])|“|”|'|?|?|?|—| \s|\s |(?-i:the) FAA(?!\s(?-i:[A-Z<]))|(?<!<cf.*)&(\s|(?!(\w{2,5}|#\d{2,5});)))

I've decided that I thoroughly enjoy swimming at the beach. Not just wading up to my knees like a little girl but actually swimming.

Mid-month roundup

...This is how I know that I'm a bad blogger: Last week, Annie, her two eldest sisters, and I spent a week out west, conquering the Grand Canyon, Sedona, and the open road, yet I have no blog post to show for it! During our stay, we averaged about 100 photos per day. An unwieldy photo gallery is forthcoming, I promise. And, perhaps, some quality commentary.

...Warren Buffett has given us the green light to start investing again; I'm hopeful that next week will be another solid rebuilding week for the Dow. I've sufficiently rationalized my "losses" thus far; I'm truly no longer affected by them. It's all play money until you have to use it. As I focus the bulk of my investments in retirement accounts, a decreasing percentage of my portfolio hinges on the day-to-day rise and fall of stocks.

...Lately, I've been enamored by the work of one J.D. Roth, owner and writer of both Get Rich Slowly and Get Fit Slowly. Every day, I'm in awe at the consistent quality of his work. He's introduced me to a number of related financial sites. With the wealth of good, free financial information available, it's a wonder why anyone would choose to hire a financial advisor — unless, of course, one dislikes dealing with his financial situation. As for me, I revel in it. At times, I worry that I worry too much about money. I seriously wouldn't mind getting randomly audited by the IRS. It would be a pleasant experience for me.

On a related note, sometimes I wish that I had significant consumer debt, only because it would be personally gratifying to pay it off. I'm intrigued by stories of people in debt, and the methods they use to overcome their debt and their bad habits. It would be an incredible feeling of accomplishment to eliminate, say, massive credit card debt. The source of your problems is literally subtracted out of existence.

...I was recently bestowed with a couple of quality "seasoned" laptops that my company had long since abandoned: a four-year-old IBM ThinkPad and a slightly older Dell Inspiron 8100. Both are steps up from my current notebook, a Windows 2000-era Dell that makes a grating grinding sound whenever it's turned on. Oh, and the touchpad frustratingly registers false clicks at random.

...Some of my coworkers and I have just moved into a swing space, as our office area is being renovated. The problem is that it's four floors below street level, in a secluded, bomb-proof room with no air flow — conditioned or otherwise. I keep telling myself that at least I'm not working in a uranium mine in Novosibirsk, Russia. I'm entertaining the idea of not shaving or otherwise grooming myself for the duration of our stay in the dungeon, as a quiet protest.

...I'm off to the Maryland Renaissance Festival later today, so I suppose that I will take in a couple of turkey legs and a significant amount of jerky. (Annie cannot resist the jerky vendor.) It will be good to be a part of such a large gathering of geeks. No swords allowed. :-(

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CSS, cookies

CSS file size I've been meaning to publish this for a while, but was never really motivated. Image: a graph of the changing weight of the main CSS file of this site. I'm not sure how much one could glean from this information — it doesn't tell you the efficiency of the CSS declarations, only the size of the file. This file is important to the site, as every page accesses it and is styled by it. For that reason, it pays to keep the file small and compact.

There's not really that much I can tell you about the graph. Summer 2004 saw my discovery of the Firefox browser — the CSS file promptly increased fourfold as I started to rely on CSS for layout purposes. It's hard to believe now, but before summer 2004, I was coding solely in IE. The peak file size came in April 2006, as the CSS file was bloated after I had recently installed the WordPress blogging software. I've since been moving declarations into the WordPress template CSS file. Nothing to write home about, I know...

Next, I'd like to give mad props to Ray and Jade for bringing those wonderful chocolate chip cookies to the party on Saturday. Wow. It's a wonder that Jade isn't pushing 200 lbs with the mastery that Ray displays in the kitchen.

Senior Citizen discounts

Poverty Rates by Age Put an end to senior citizen discounts. You read that correctly. No more 1/2 off breakfast platters at Denny's and IHOP. No more $3 off movie tickets. No more discounted hotel rooms or plane rides.

The myth that seniors fall into poverty when they retire couldn't be further from the truth, as a visit to the Census Bureau website will attest. In 2006, the percentage of seniors (those over 64) in poverty was a mere 9.4% — about 25% less than the national average. Minors (those under 18) were almost twice as likely to be in poverty, with a rate of 17.4%.

If an establishment must discriminate based on age, a "minor discount" or "under-18 discount" would be the most logical, as that age group has the highest levels of poverty. 45 years ago, though, seniors were the ones suffering the most. Sadly, they are still stuck with that reputation.

Curious George is not actually a monkey

No, you heard that right. Despite being referred to as one in the original books, multiple television shows, and the recent feature film, Curious George is not actually a monkey, but is more likely a stylized chimpanzee. A chimp is technically not a monkey but an ape. While the great majority of monkeys are tailless have tails, the macaque is a notable exception. George looks nothing like a macaque; the chances that his likeness was adapted from an actual monkey are slim. Curious George is not a monkey.

My cousin, the president

My mom has a family tree program in which she's entered literally thousands of names, some dating back centuries. One of the benefits — if you can call it that — is that you start discovering that you're related to famous people. For instance, my mom recently emailed me with the good news:

...
Dick Cheney is your 9th cousin twice removed.
Franklin D Roosevelt is your 7th cousin 3 times removed.
William H Taft is your 6th cousin 5 times removed.
...

In other words, one of Dick Cheney's 128 great great great great great great grandfathers happens to be one of my 512 great great great great great great great great grandfathers. And so forth. Oh, and I'm also related to George W. Bush and John Kerry, both by marriage.

I'm thinking that, if more families researched their genealogy, most would find out that they too are somehow related to famous people. But then it wouldn't be so special.