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Those scheming Republicans... improving the economy, lowering gas prices, lowering unemployment, smoking out terrorists, keeping the US safe from terrorist attacks — all to selfishly keep control of the House and Senate! I urge you to vote Democrat to reverse these alarming trends.

The "Duet of the Year" — perhaps even "Song of the Year" — goes to "Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)", a conversational-style ballad from the Decemberists' latest album, The Crane Wife, released today.

Decemberists' frontman Colin Meloy plays the role of a dead Confederate soldier buried far from home; guest vocalist Laura Viers, his doting pregnant wife. Meloy, infamous for his reputation of being well-read, doesn't disappoint:

Heart-carved tree trunk, Yankee bayonet
A sweetheart left behind
Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas
That's where my true love lies

Look for me when the sun-bright swallow
Sings upon the birch bough high
But you are in the ground with the wolves and the weevils
All a'chew upon your bones so dry

The voices of Meloy and Veirs fit together in a way that contrasts more than it blends, but the overall effect is appealing. The sound is reminiscent of The Pernice Brothers' "Subject Drop", a duet between Joe Pernice and Blake Hazard.

So I walk into the Silver Spring, MD Trader Joe's last night to return some two-day old nectarines. Nectarines that looked as if they had been sprinkled with all manner of mold spores and left in a moist, warm environment for a month. I was expecting that I would at least have to explain myself and show my receipt (which I had). However, the cashier asked for the supervisor to come over, and the man simply asked me how much my item cost. "$3.29", I said. He opened the cash register and handed me the cash. No fuss; no muss. They took my bag containing the three uneaten, rotting nectarines and I went on my merry way.

I was impressed with the level of (perceived) trust they had in me. They didn't bother checking the receipt to confirm that 1.) I had indeed purchased a container of nectarines two days earlier, and 2.) that the price I paid was indeed $3.29. Since I had paid with a credit card, I thought my refund would go back on the card as well; the cash refund was unexpected, but above all, tangible.

I read a report recently that conveyed concern over the number of children that are injured or die due to falling TVs and TV stands. Pier 1 has even recalled an item after one Canadian child died after leaning on the open drawer of the TV stand. One child.

Try this lecturing on for size:

... The CPSC also advises keeping your TV as far back as possible on its stand. Make sure the stand itself, whether it's a bookshelf, dresser or armoire — is stable itself. If possible, anchor it to the wall or floor.

Keep all electrical cords out of a child's reach. Also, don't give your kids a reason to climb the furniture.

"Avoid putting on top of TV sets or other pieces of furniture, items that could tempt a child to climb, such as a remote control or a toy," advises Nord.

I know most of this is just common sense and goes without saying. Perhaps we can use this "crisis" as an opportunity to impart to our children a basic knowledge of classical mechanics. If ten deaths a year is to be considered a crisis, what word can be used to explain the early deaths brought on by nicotine, saturated fats, and the like?

I still don't give a left-handed flying farkle about crude oil prices. Yes, it's nice right now to pay relatively lower prices. But will my worrying about it cause prices to fall? Will not worrying about it cause prices to rise?

CNN's Bill Schneider recently claimed that lower oil prices could be the result of a conspiracy by Big Oil to help Republicans in upcoming midterms. Wha? Yet, just a few months ago, conspiracy theorists claimed that Big Oil colluded to jack up prices at the pump. So, regardless of if prices rise or fall, Big Oil is out to get you.

This lose-lose situation is also found in articles about the economy. On Tuesday, USA Today ran a story called "Gas Price Decline May Spur Inflation". When prices rise, inflation will occur. When prices fall, inflation will occur. As usual, Newbusters has spot-on analysis of this phenomenon.

What have we learned today? Regardless of the price trend of crude oil, inflation is imminent and Big Oil is conspiring against you. Oh, and your TV wants you dead.

Now I know that I'm a true Wikipedia addict: I created an account on the Spanish Wikipedia to help out with music and album categorization. I took Spanish for two years in high school, but I can hardly say that I know the language. This should be muy interesante.

Five years ago today, the United States fell victim to a vicious, unprovoked attack by terrorists acting on the orders of Osama bin-Laden that forever changed this nation and its people.

The acts of violence committed by al-Qaida, terrorists on September 11, 2001 left more than 3,000 people dead and wounded in New York City, in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, and at the Pentagon. This tragedy shall not and should not ever be forgotten. Today, on this grimmest of anniversaries, I hope we will take time to remember what we have lost, to reflect on what we must do and to recommit to meeting the challenges that lie ahead with vigor and determination as the President has asked us to do.

The acts of these few committed fanatics may have led to the destruction of families, the destruction of property and the destruction of a sense of security the end of the Cold War brought to America; but they did not destroy the American ideal, the spirit of liberty that has made this nation a beacon of hope for the world for more than two centuries.

We have responded to these attacks with appropriate force, taking the battle to freedom's enemies. Since September 11, more than 1.3 million U.S. servicemen and women have joined this battle, with more than 2,900 giving their lives in defense of this noble cause. We owe them and their families a special debt of gratitude.

We have made considerable progress in this fight against terror. Many of the masterminds of September 11 and other terror plots have been captured. They are being detained and will be brought to trial and are, as the President said Wednesday, being treated "with a mercy they denied others."

To all of you in the Department of Energy family for whom the losses on September 11 were personal, I extend condolences on my own behalf as well as on behalf of the President. I also want to extend my gratitude to all DOE Federal and contractor employees who work so hard to preserve the freedom and welfare of this great country. Together, we continue to pay tribute to those whose lives were taken on September 11, 2001, by serving our Nation and its citizens with honor, humility, and hope.

Thank you.

Source: Dept. of Energy

Meet my new baby nephew, Tyler Jordan Kinzy. He was born on Friday, Sept 1st at Upper Chesapeake Medical Center in Bel Air, Maryland. I went to see him on Saturday and got to hold him. Luckily he was sleeping and not displaying his waaing ability at the time.

Congratulations to Nancy and Brad, Annie's sister and brother-in-law.

Last Saturday, Annie and I (along with Ray) emptied the living room of the furniture that — according to a reliable source — could have been on the set of That 70s Show. Seriously, the couch and matching chair were about as old as my parents, and have been in the family for as long. We hauled them to my uncle's garage and then proceeded to pick up some newish furniture that a real estate agent had alerted us to. The coffee table looks like marble, and as such, appears to weigh 400 lbs. The entire setup is definitely an improvement. All I have to do is get a nice widescreen TV and we can start having decent parties.

Reuters Photo Fraud

The recent discovery that the Reuters news agency released a digitally manipulated photograph as an authentic image of the bombing in Beirut has drawn attention to the important topic of bias in the media. But lost in the frenzy over one particular image is an even more devastating fact: that over the last week Reuters has been caught red-handed in an astonishing variety of journalistic frauds in the photo coverage of the war in Lebanon.

Also: Malkin's Fauxtography

Paste Magazine's article "100 Best Living Songwriters" (June/July 2006) places Tom Petty in the top thirty, citing his "...unerring songwriting instincts." Yet, in the August 2006 issue, the magazine takes him to task for his shallow songwriting in a review of his latest album, Highway Companion. Music critic Geoffrey Himes even named his full-page review "The Writing is the Hardest Part." Ouch. Himes intimates that Petty's lyrical weakness is not a new phenomenon, but has been with him since his early hits. Granted, Petty's inclusion on the "Best Living Songwriters" list may be the result of over thirty years of consistent material, not for one recent album. However, the very songs cited in June/July as being classics ("American Girl," "Refugee" and "The Waiting") are more or less looked down upon in August as lyrically "shallow" and memorable only for their classic rock sound.