Due to forces entirely beyond my control, my household now has four opened containers of mustard in varying states of use. Combining said containers is out of the question, as each blend is unique: classic yellow, honey mustard (in both “tangy” and “non-tangy” varieties), and brown mustard, which may or may not be zesty. Mustard is one of those foods that flies off the grocery store shelf, but has limited utility. Sure, it pairs well with meats (especially those with high saturated fat content) and freshly baked soft pretzels, but for everyday use, mustard is largely overlooked. I figure I’ll have to eat one half smoke every night for the rest of the year to reduce our mustard supply to a more manageable size.