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“I agree with John Kerry, from Thursday night.” —John Edwards

Me: Hello?

PH: Hi, this is Purple Heart. Is the lady of the house present?

Me: There’s no lady here.

PH: Okay; then I’ll catch you later.

Is it just me or was this Purple Heart employee a bit sexist? I mean, does she think that men are incapable of donating clothes? HA! I have ten large bags of clothes (not to mention four other huge piles and a dozen or so shirts on hangers) in my living room as I write this. Purple Heart just lost out on the mother lode. Serves them right for being sexist ninnies. I’ll just donate it all to Goodwill in spite of them. The nerve to assume that only bored housewives with nothing to do in the early afternoon are the only people capable of putting bags of clothing or unwanted toys out for the Purple Heart truck! Then again, it takes prodding to get the average man to even take out the garbage, so I guess I’m beginning to understand. But still…

US Naval Frigate 52 slides down the York River, past the George P. Coleman Bridge, just northeast of historic Yorktown, Virginia.

What’s with the Sheryl Crow lyric “She likes lingerie, but he prefers the sombrero“? It seems simple at first, but if you think about it, it’s really vague. Does it mean that she likes lingerie, but he prefers that she wear a sombrero? Should she wear it in addition to the lingerie or instead of said lingerie? In this context, why would the man not prefer lingerie to a sombrero? Is this man Mexican? Or could it mean that he simply prefers wearing a sombrero on his head to wearing women’s underwear? Would this sombrero be worn in the traditional manner, or placed strategically in lieu of underwear?

Isn’t lingerie really just a shopping mall term for underpants? It’s like a man walking up to you and saying, “I like socks” or, “I like shirts.” If said in a certain, absent-minded way, this declaration could no doubt make one feel uncomfortable. The woman’s preference for lingerie, I think, is really just her acclamation that “I’m sexy and I’m in control.” The man, with his preference for a large Mexican hat is in effect saying, “I wear the pants in the family; I’m manly, I’m ethnic, and I’m out of control in my Mexican hat.”

Living by yourself means taking forever to finish large containers of condiments. For instance, I am only on my third jar of peanut butter in over 18.7 months (6.2 months per jar). Also, it has been 570 days since I purchased my current jar of mayo and a full 381 days since it expired. Just so long as it isn’t sour or doesn’t have visible bacterial growth, I’m perfectly fine with it.

Reagan’s funeral procession happened to go directly in front of the Museum of American History — the building I was working at that day. I went outside after work to find that a huge crowd had gathered to pay tribute to the man. It felt like Independence Day — patriotism and American pride filled the air. Everyone had a camera and it was relatively quiet. I watched in awe as the horse-drawn casket passed. People saluted, put their hands over their hearts, smiled, cried, took pictures… I even heard shouts of “I love you, Ronnie!” Personally, I had my hand over my heart and I heard myself sigh.

For once, the population was unified; Reagan’s historical and political stature seems to keep rising with every passing year. In hindsight, he was our best president and we were proud to call him our commander in chief.

“Senator Kerry has spent two decades in Congress; he’s built up quite a record. In fact, Senator Kerry has been in Washington long enough to take both sides on just about every issue. He’s been for the Patriot Act and against it; for NAFTA and against it; for the No Child Left Behind Act and against it; for the use of force in Iraq and against funding the liberation of Iraq. My opponent clearly has strong beliefs — they just don’t last very long.”

—George W. Bush [ more on Bush] [ Bush daughters ]

On the way to work in the summer of 2001, I was stopped at a red light, playing “Good Vibrations” on an old dubbed tape. A man pulled up next to me with his windows down. He leaned over and said “that’s a great song” as if he connected with the song more than just superficially. I smiled and told him I agreed.

Currently on your home page, moveon.org states: “The President took the nation to war based on his assertion that Iraq posed an imminent threat to our country.”

I am mystified by that statement because in Bush’s State of the Union address of Jan 28, 2003, he said,

Some have said we must not act until the threat is imminent. Since when have terrorists and tyrants announced their intentions, politely putting us on notice before they strike?

If this threat is permitted to fully and suddenly emerge, all actions, all words and all recriminations would come too late. Trusting in the sanity and restraint of Saddam Hussein is not a strategy, and it is not an option.

Bush openly acknowledged to the nation that evening that the threat posed by Iraq was not “imminent”, and had not fully emerged. His opinion on Iraqi disarmament closely mirrors Bill Clinton’s, who on Feb 17, 1998, in a televised speech to the nation said, “If we fail to respond today, Saddam and all those who would follow in his footsteps will be emboldened tomorrow by the knowledge that they can act with impunity. . .” The real difference between the two presidents is that Bush is willing to back up his promises with tangible actions and results; Clinton, while his heart was in the right place, “fail[ed] to respond”.

I am under the impression that your condemnation of Bush’s foreign policies is not consistent with your implicit tolerance of Clinton’s strikingly similar policies and attitudes. If you could set the record straight for me (or forward this to someone who could take the time to respond), I’d appreciate it greatly.

Thanks!

Matt Brundage
Montgomery Village, MD

Life’s little pleasures: when the “door closing” indicators on the subway train chime in tune with a song on my Discman. I’m thinking of making a compilation of songs that are in tune with the subway chimes and playing it exclusively on the train.