Matt Brundage

Archive for the 'introspection' category

Friday, 30 December 2005

Dawn of a New Age

Well, the move is over, college is over, the Dimension E510 arrived, Christmas is over, Verizon Fios is up, so I think it’s about time I sat back, maybe get back to those marathon coding sessions, and fuel my recent addiction to Starbucks’ Mint Mocha Frappuccinos.

I brought over Annie’s G4 because she said she was having trouble starting it up. I’m not a Mac person by any means, but I took a look at it and everything seemed to work. Connecting it to the network was simple; I fussed around with it for a bit, but only because I wasn’t familiar with the interface. It’s a shame Firefox isn’t available on OS9.1, or else I would have urged Annie to abandon *gasp!* Mac IE 5.1.7 a long time ago.

Saturday, 3 December 2005

This December

I have many exciting things going on right now: I’m taking my final final exams next Saturday (no more college!) All this week I’ve been moving out of my condo and into a townhouse — replete with painting, organizing, sorting, tossing out stuff, buying new stuff, etc. December’s postings and site updates will be few, as I won’t have Internet access at my new place until Dec 27th. I’m having fiber installed, so it should be well worth the wait. I will somehow find a way to survive over three full weeks without a TCP/IP connection.

Monday, 1 August 2005

American insulation

Woman who loves Brazil... I found an old satirical article from The Onion that depicts the insulation many Americans have from the atrocities and poverty of Third World and developing countries: Woman who “loves Brazil” has only seen four square miles of it.

In all good humor is a morsel of truth — For instance, I have no idea what it’s like to be without means to acquire food or utilities, and I’ve basically lived a sheltered life. It’s also interesting (and kind of sad) to think that I can spend in one day what would constitute the annual per-capita income of some of the “developing” countries. We can do this and not even think twice about it.

Monday, 11 July 2005

Recycling woes

I’ve come to the realization that I shouldn’t hold other people to the same standards as I hold my ideal self. I know it sounds cynical, but I’ve found that it doesn’t work to expect others to behave as logically as you do. You’ll be constantly let down. Face it, no one calls their own behavior illogical.

No, I haven’t been reading some pop psychology book — but what got me thinking was the horrid conditions in which people leave the trash rooms at my condominium complex. Sometimes I think my slothful neighbors actually want to attract ants, flies, and other swarming insects. I hate to tell you this, but I sometimes spend a few extra minutes in the trash room cleaning up after others. Once, I found that someone had put two milk containers in a trash bin when there was a recycle bin right next to it. These milk cartons were half full of warm milk, and the expiration dates on the cartons were from at least two months prior. C’mon people! How long does it take to pour milk down the drain, or at the very least, in the bushes?!? According to my condo association, most of the recycle bins are frequently “contaminated” with non-recyclable trash — the dedication that most neighbors put into recycling materials is wasted by the apathy of a few. And don’t get me started on the number of times I’ve approached the trash room to find piles of trash (most not properly sealed) outside the door. And after I clear a path to the door, I find that half of the trash inside the trash room has somehow not made it into the numerous large trash bins — most of which are nearly empty.

Sunday, 10 July 2005

Just a little bit more

In church today, our priest talked about a survey that was conducted among people earning over $100,000 annually. A question was asked of them: “What do you fear most?” The answer most gave was “Not having enough money to live comfortably.” The follow-up question: “How much is enough?” “Just a little bit more.” Even poor and starving people will not be satisfied with incremental blessings and increases of money/possessions. We all (myself included) want just “a little bit more…”

Saturday, 9 July 2005

What People Really Want

We want true happiness through self-actualization — the perception that one has reached his fullest potential as a person. Wealth and pleasure (artha and kama, respectively) are nice but ultimately fleeting. Huston Smith’s comments of Buddhism more eloquently tout this view. I know it’s simple and clichéd, but wealth and pleasure cannot bring lasting happiness. Temporary happiness cannot be what people want, for there is always a letdown, a hunger if you will, after the initial “peak”.

Hinduism agrees that the “drive for success is insatiable.” To do one’s duty (dharma) could be considered a form of self-actualization if one acknowledges that one’s duty may be to live to one’s fullest potential. Living to one’s fullest potential does not necessarily imply garnering vast amounts of wealth, power, and respect. Is liberation (moksha) the Hindu equivalent of Heaven? If so, Brahma/God will eliminate our wants and desires upon liberation/entrance to Heaven. Sensible people want liberation/Heaven because such an experience is the absence of want. Could it really be that what people really want is to not want anything?

I really haven’t touched on what I really want out of life. Right now, I’m in the “security” stage. I don’t want to have to worry about finances, career paths, health, my fiancé, my place in the Reign of God… To me, that is happiness — not having to worry or spend time trying to fix what can’t be fixed.

Thursday, 30 June 2005

Five years from now…

Annie and I have been slowly preparing for the day when we have children (probably not for another five years). This preparation involves whining at each other in the most annoying, petulant, childish voices possible: “WHY?!?!?!! … NO MOMMY NO!!” It never fails to crack us up. That way, when we finally see (and hear) this firsthand, we can laugh about it all over again.

Wednesday, 10 November 2004

Failures of Outcome-based Education

I found an article about the facts of outcome-based education. My thoughts:

If we must resort to having our schools attempt to improve the self-esteem of children, it must mean that these children are arriving at school with feelings of self-doubt and underdeveloped egos. Simply telling a child he is valuable will not cut it. It is akin to telling an injured person “you are not hurting.” If a child isn’t valued and loved at home, what the child needs is positive attention, not lectures on self-worth. The assurances may be well meaning, but it should not be the school’s responsibility to indoctrinate feelings into children. Respect from others must come first from family and friends, and should be only a secondary reinforcement in school.

Some say that a person will be more likely to cope with certain situations if they are convinced that they are effective. But in this case, perception is NOT reality. The “relatively errorless progression” is the bane of outcome-based education because it encourages not the mastery of knowledge, but feelings. “Feelings, attitudes, and skills such as learning to work together in groups will become just as important as learning information — some reformers would argue more important.” (Closson) I’m most concerned with the idea of an “errorless” outcome. Telling a child he is correct when he is not and changing the rules as one goes along will not prepare that child for the work environment, where employers and deal-makers won’t give a rat’s rear end about “feelings”. Employers will not rate employees on a curve or cater to the lowest common denominator.

Thursday, 28 October 2004

Memory Bumps

It is possible that the memories we have — especially the older ones — are only partially accurate. I do have an episodic memory from late winter of my third year (I was almost three years old). I am riding a ‘bananawheel’ — essentially a large yellow plastic banana with wheels and a steering bar. I remember riding it down four or five steps. However, the room in which I am in is white and gray, almost featureless. This is all I remember. Later, my mother told me that I fell down a full flight of steps on my bananawheel while at my grandmother’s house (I suffered no serious injuries). The stairs at my grandmother’s house are enclosed on each side by walls — they are not open as in my memory. Also, my memory puts the number of steps at but four or five, not the full flight in reality. Also intriguing is that I can almost see myself falling down the stairs, as if I’m a third party witness. My mother tells me she heard only three bumps as I fell, which probably means I skipped the majority of the steps on my way down. :)

Friday, 18 July 2003

Life’s Little Pleasures

Life’s little pleasures: when the “door closing” indicators on the subway train chime in tune with a song on my Discman. I’m thinking of making a compilation of songs that are in tune with the subway chimes and playing it exclusively on the train.