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The catch-phrase “Every child a wanted child” makes me want to hurl. Instead of the concise retort “Every unwanted child a dead child” on my random thoughts page, why not the awkward but effective “Every child that manages to make it out of the birth canal without either being injected with a toxic saline solution, sucked out and torn limb-from-limb by a powerful vacuum, or having its brain sucked out by a catheter, thereby allowing the scull to collapse and the entire body to pass more easily through the cervix a wanted child.”

Those scheming Republicans… improving the economy, lowering gas prices, lowering unemployment, smoking out terrorists, keeping the US safe from terrorist attacks — all to selfishly keep control of the House and Senate! I urge you to vote Democrat to reverse these alarming trends.

The “Duet of the Year” — perhaps even “Song of the Year” — goes to “Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)”, a conversational-style ballad from the Decemberists’ latest album, The Crane Wife, released today.

Decemberists’ frontman Colin Meloy plays the role of a dead Confederate soldier buried far from home; guest vocalist Laura Viers, his doting pregnant wife. Meloy, infamous for his reputation of being well-read, doesn’t disappoint:

Heart-carved tree trunk, Yankee bayonet
A sweetheart left behind
Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas
That’s where my true love lies

Look for me when the sun-bright swallow
Sings upon the birch bough high
But you are in the ground with the wolves and the weevils
All a’chew upon your bones so dry

The voices of Meloy and Veirs fit together in a way that contrasts more than it blends, but the overall effect is appealing. The sound is reminiscent of The Pernice Brothers’ “Subject Drop”, a duet between Joe Pernice and Blake Hazard.