I know this article is a bit old, but for some reason it’s remained in my mind as the epitome of The Onion‘s peculiar brand of humor. An excerpt:

As a patriot and true American, my heart sings at the thought of the Pentagon, and the zealous, calculating measures undertaken by the proud military bureaucracy of this great superpower. I feel a surge of pride when I think about our high-tech GBU laser-guided bombs, capable of carrying a 2,000-pound warhead. I tied a ribbon around my tree for the safe return of our nation’s F-16s, because our military aircraft are instrumental to finishing our work in Iraq.

Source: I Support The Occupation Of Iraq, But I Don’t Support Our Troops

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